erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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