yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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