I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
