he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
