is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
