I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We had to coat check the pizza.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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