even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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