I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We're too hungover to prance.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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