i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
