The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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