I think im going to throw up on grandma
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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