people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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