the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize