Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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