The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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