Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
