If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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