How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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