apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
