I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
