never play flip cup with pint glasses
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we're making bets on your personal life
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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