ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
