ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
