i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
