He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
