Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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