Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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