You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
