On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
