I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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