How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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