oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A bitchslap is in order.
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