DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
