Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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