last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
