its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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