Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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