Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
