hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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