when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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