DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Mom said you looked used
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
