i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Alive.
So much puke
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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