Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
