ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
