I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
