hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
