just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
