Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
