He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
