It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
