Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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