My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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