Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
