You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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