Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
