She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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