So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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