i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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