if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
im holly from the hills drunk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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